Welcome to our firstshow of our 15th season.

[INAUDIBLE] [APPLAUSE] Whew! I'm excited to be back.

I am back because Ilove doing this show, and also because there's a lotof construction in my house while they finish mynuclear fallout shelter.

[LAUGHTER] Just want to be prepared.

I know it's September.

It still feels likesummer here in LA.

Oh, boy.

It's hot.

It is so hot here in LA.

Today, Ice Cube officiallychanged his name to Little Puddle.

[LAUGHTER] I have another one, too.

It's really hot.

You have to find shadewherever you can.

This morning, I sawa group of people huddled together underSteve Harvey's mustache.


Oh, good.

You like that one? [APPLAUSE] Thank you.

Did you have a goodsummer, everybody? Yes? [CHEERING] I don't know how,but good, good.

A lot of bad stuff in the.

News I neededsomething uplifting because I kept watchingthe news and I'm like, I have to watchsomething uplifting.

So I watched "Handmaid'sTale" and "House of Cards" and Game of Thrones.

" So that cheered me right up.

There were some good thingsthat happened over the summer, though.

There was this solar eclipse.

That was a huge story–was the first solar eclipse over the entire United Statesin 100 years I didn't see it.

But I did take coldmedicine on an empty stomach and fell down on mylawn and fell asleep.

So I think I get it.

[LAUGHTER] There were some moviesthat came out this summer.



Harry Styles was in that.

People are saying itmight win an Oscar.

Didn't see it.

[LAUGHTER] I did go overto Beyoncé's house to see the twins for the first time.

[CHEERING] I did not do that.

I'll tell you what I did do.

Portia and I went to Majorca.

In Spain.

It was beautiful there.


It was sunny.

There was an ocean.

There were palm trees.

People were speaking Spanish.

It's like we neverleft Los Angeles.

It was the same.

[LAUGHTER] We took a picture.

This is a photo Portia took.

Look how beautiful this is.

We were way, way in the–look, zoom in, you'll find us.

There we are.

There we are.

When in Spain, you know.

Turns out it was not a nudebeach, and that was our bad.

I didn't do a lot, butI loved my summer break.

It was great, and I am happy tobe back here with all of you.

And now, for the firsttime in season 15, we shall all dance together.