I see you went to my alma mater.

Tell me,what did you learn during your time in law school? I-I-I.

don't think that I could tell you whathabeas corpus means I took torts but don't remember elements of battery Is there standing in that case? Can this plaintiff win the day? I don't really know Oooohhh All I got from law school was loans yeah.

You're hired! I don't want to be a lawyer but I have to pay my debt I don't care about Pennoyer or if the burden has been met I don't need to know property to sit in on a conference call Patent law won't help me any to win at firm softball Three years in the library, studying and bluebooking And what can I show? All I got from law school was loans, loans baby I need this deal closed by Monday Did you have some weekend plans? Just call and say you'll see them someday, I'm sure they will understand I won't ask about crim pro, but I will get kinda mad You don't know the rule of laches? Oh, they didn't teach you that? Well I know that I'm a mess But they don't teach you success Wish I would have known All you get from law school is loans Loans, baby All the schools should teach you which judges to avoid And some conversation starters and factoids Or how to ask for time off Or about taxes write-offs Law school won't please teach us things we really need? Won't you please give us more than degrees? Didn't learn a thing from law school That I need for my career They just gave us fancy cocktails And probably too much beer What's the rule for due process? I don't think I could care less Hear me bitch and moan All you get from law school is loans Loans Loans.